When Words and Actions Don’t Align
When an Offer Isn't Really an Offer—And How I Chose to Respond Differently
For over a year, I watched the same cycle play out. Words, but no actions. Promises, but no follow-through. Just enough effort to keep me engaged, never enough to create real change.
Then, after months of ignoring my emails—weeks of silence—he suddenly scheduled a couples therapy appointment. No conversation. No discussion. Just an email:
"The appointment is set for the end of the week. Please look up the therapist if you’d like. We need an intermediary at this point."
No acknowledgment that I had already told him I wasn’t interested in therapy at this stage. No recognition of the financial issues I had asked him to address. Just a unilateral decision, made without me, dropped into my inbox as if I were the one being unreasonable.
And that’s when it hit me—this wasn’t about healing. This wasn’t about repair. This was about control.
It was the same when he told me he wanted to take me on a date. I had asked him directly, "What do you want?" And his answer had come quickly, "I want to go on a date with you."
So I said yes.
And then… nothing.
Three days passed. No plans, no follow-up, no effort. When I finally asked about it, he had an excuse ready:
"I didn’t know what you expected. I was focused on making the date perfect."
Perfect. Right.
But perfection wasn’t the goal. Action was. And once again, he had given just enough to create the illusion of effort—enough that, when nothing happened, I could be painted as the one who gave up.
This was never about a date. Just like the therapy session wasn’t about resolution. These were empty gestures, designed to keep me engaged, to keep the power in his hands, to keep me stuck in the loop of waiting and hoping and second-guessing.
But I see it now. And I’m done playing along.
I don’t need to attend a therapy session I never agreed to. I don’t need to respond to offers that were never real. I don’t need to sit quietly while someone else rewrites the story.
Because I am no longer the woman who waits.
The Power of Walking Away
If you’ve ever found yourself caught in the loop of empty promises and stalled decisions, let me tell you this: you don’t have to stay there. You don’t have to carry the weight of their hesitation. Their lack of action is not your problem to solve.
You are allowed to walk away. Not with frustration, not with exhaustion, but with the quiet, unshakable knowing that your life moves forward—whether they choose to step up or not.
And that’s their loss, not yours.